youre lurking in front of me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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