careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize