I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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