i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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