don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
this just has baby written all over it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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