what if every blade of grass was a penis?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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