I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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