Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize