If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize