She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
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I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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