Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
false alarm. still invincible.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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