Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
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Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
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On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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