it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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