U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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