I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
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aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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