There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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