you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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