no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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