Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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