Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize