i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize