Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize