Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sorry about my life...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize