i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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