i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
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I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
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I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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