it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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