there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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