I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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