no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize