Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
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HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
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I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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