Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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