so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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