I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
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Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
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See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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