he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize