She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
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Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
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Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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