Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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