Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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