I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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