Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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