after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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