dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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