none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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