Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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