I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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