You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize