Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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