Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize