he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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