think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
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high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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