Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize