So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
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My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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