I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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