Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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