I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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